a pat on the back for opposition parties..

Oh gosh, i should never have watched the news. was seeing SDP members going around buona vista mrt garnering support. honestly, these people are normal people who have jobs. some are even doctorate holders and yet, they have to give up their jobs just to be at buona vista trying to campaign. i really really hope singaporeans will vote wisely please. their manifesto is to peg minister's pays to ordinary peoples'. this is the correct way. there are proposals to raise the ministers' pays again after elections as their pays are pegged to the 6 highest paid industries in the private dector. It might even double. Already they're earning more than President Obama.. Really dont want anymore taxpayers' money to go into their pockets. Would rather see the money go to nation building and helping those who fell through the cracks and also, preparing for the aging population than into their pockets to buy more kate spade bags..

anyway the ministers should be working for the welfare of singapore, not the fat paycheque. ohhhh... really v sad to see the opposition parties campaigning efforts and sacrifices deem useless if people do not feel their sincerity also. i really must never be in politics.. oh gosh. totally too emotional..jiayouuuu opposition! all of u! from reform party, sdp, wp, nsp... u all can do it! your efforts really arent wasted as you have proven that its okay to state your stand even if your views are against all odds. really really hope wp get aijunied and hougang back. Ohmygosh. If not, singapore's gonna go back to the one-party political system again.. Sigh.

Just disappointed with life as it progresses...

there are reasons i really hate to read the newspapers. They always reflect either bad news or bad news sugarcoated in the form of good news. And we are all sucked into the magical land of facades. And slowly, you'll recognise that underneath these facades are nothing. Pure nothingness. Just like the process of growing up. As a child, you're taught that when your tooth drops, the tooth fairy comes by, clears your headache of what to do with the tooth as she carries her tooth into her nest and gives you a dollar for it, only to grow up and find out that these doesnt exist and when you have any teeth problem, it just means that you have to go to the dentist and pay him a hefty sum to rectify the problem. i know you guys are sick of my rants about politics, especially to those who are pro PAP. but its really making my blood boil seeing all these happen and not being able to do anything. what about those need welfare? we are an aging population. as we grow up, it means the working population would be taxed more heftily to support people from our dad's generation. if the ministers draw such high pays, would we have enough funds for the baby boomers? if there is, what about us? don't we need help to relieve us of our heavy loads? sigh. I live in an above average income household. Frankly, the governement's actions didnt affect me because my family can still cope with the rising prices. In fact, i didnt even need to get so angry because i am not even affected and its really none of my business. But i just cannot sit by and watch the people who have been neglected by the government shout till their lungs explode and yet, are continued to be ignored. Which is why i really wanna shout with them.. At least theres a bigger chance of being heard.eAnyway, am studying hard for exams. in the past, our parents tell us to sstudy hard and you'd have no worries in your future as it'll garantee us a good job etc. but is it true? as i grow up, the definition of being happy widens and it no longer just include a good future. what is a good future if you didnt have anyone to share it with? i need friends, family and prefably, a spouse. but as time goes by, your family diminish as let's face it.. we're mortal beings. we will die one day. time will take our loved ones away.. and as for friends and even spouse, in this day and age, such relationships seem more fragile than glass. especially due to social media where everything is instantaneous and few of these relationships seem to be able to withstand the test of time. also, as a wanderluster, i have thought of combing every nook and cranny of this planet but how to, if the entire world is at odds with each other and it has become increasingly capitalistic and unsafe to be in. Slowly, i fail to see the meaning of adulthood and improved technology. i used to yearn adulthood because i couldnt wait to experience freedom and independence. but at what price? the price of knowing about the cruelty of reality? the cruelty of capitalism? the cruelty of everything? that the world i once was proud of living in and though was beautiful, all destroyed with adulthood. if so, i rather be back 10 years ago when i thought to myself, 'how far it is to reach 21 years old!'. Whats the point of fighting for what is right only to be told that only the rich and powerful can define what right and wrong is? What is the point of having beliefs and values only to be told they're invalid later in life? Whats the point when it seems you're alone in this world when there are so many billions of people.. Whats the point of reading about fairytale stories and told that any prince charming on a white horse coming into your life gives you everything you have ever dreamt of without hurting you when you fall in love yourself only to find that your spouse cheats on you and you battle with yourself whether to confront him and destroy your own marriage with your bare hands or too pretaend nothing happens while you hide in the toilet every night after sex, crying your eyes out? whats the point of trusting in a religion only to be told the money you have donated to build a better place of worship, is used to fund their own personal luxuries?There have been many points in my life where i wished i didnt know what i knew - secrets, news, scandals, rumours... Because as they say, ignorance is bliss. But at the end of the day, this protective shell will vapourise and you'll be overwhelmed by reality. Theres a reason no one lives in universal studios. They are just the biggest facades in the world.. And by facade, it means that there is no function at all. Behind those beautifully painted houses are brick walls. A person in denial would pretend they're real, just like how we once pretended that we were real doctors and nurses when we treated our teddy bears with our toy medical kits. But our hdb flats, poverty, wars, corruptions.. These are reality! a facade is when the government tells its people that no such things exist. A facade is when government dont publish the information the public should know. Really do not wanna grow up. I wont be surprised if one day, i gave up all that i have and shift to a secluded spot in some wilderness area of africa where capitalism/reality doesnt influence anyone. Sigh. I can truly understand why Buddha gave up his royalty to go around the world to understand hardship and later to attain enlightenment.. I need some enlightenment. As karl marx said, religion is the 'opium of the people' where religion was created to deal with the real misery which confronts them. If they were unhappy, they turned to religion which acted as an opiate andd dull their plans. Slowly, i feel marx. I am starting to think that marx was right and durkeim and his idea that we hold the destiny of our lives, is a mere overstatement. Too naive, i feel. Maybe i should learn more about buddhism and return to my happy-go-lucky old self again. Back to reality now. Back to the books. But what for? Sigh.

My humble two cents worth..

It sounds q unbelievable but i woke up at 7am on sunday to volunteer my services to help worker's party to give out flyers during their walkabout at bedok. Actually i didnt wanna go but i did because i didnt wanna be all talk. And also, it was doing a favour to my dad's friend as she helps out also. And one big push for me is that mr david goh who helps the opposition in tampines.. He passed away 2 days back and it is very sad. I dont know him before 2 days ago and he died due to overwork. Everyday in the past months, he has had only 2 to 3 hours to sleep an he has to help in the walkabouts and campaigning. The question is, why did he even bother? He was an executive, if im not wrong. He could be comfortable in his job, getting good salary and not having to go through all these sacrifices. But what for? I believe its to help us speak up. We dont wanna overthrow pap.. But as mr low said, w ejust merely wanna be the assistant driver who slaps the main driver in case he doze off. And if he is a good driver, then we just need someone to talk to him to keep him going. All the opposition members made more sacrifices than anyone can understand. And unlike the hay days, they are no longer any random hawker. These people are lecturers, lawyers, havard grads, executives, professionals and even civil servant. They could have not given a damn, stayed at home with their family, getting a good enough pay that will last them through their entire life. But why are they, for example the wp membe i was helping.. Mr gerald giam.. He took 3 months unpaid leave just to do campaigning.. Wwaking up everyday so early in the morning to do walkabouts and at night, give speeches at rallies, and he has 3 young children and his wife isnt working. Imagine the pressure he puts himself just to see a change in singapore? And its a thanklesss job to some pro-pap people as they diss him, scold him... Really.. These people could really have stood aside and do nothing. And if they lose, fine.. They lose their deposits. But if they win, the next 5 years is going to be a very very tough one for them. Which is why i decided to help. Furthermore, i cant vote this time. So i just wanted to help them out. I really learnt alot from tpday's walkabouts. My job was to help mr gerald giam give flyers as he shook the residents' hands. And so many people were telling him about how they asked the town council to solve some issues for DECADES and is still unresolved. And in my opinions, these problems are within the control of the MP if they are willing to put in the effort. Ya. Of course, there were some people who didnt even bother to look at him.. But oh well. when food prices hike up, dont complain then.Pap said that food and commodities prices hiking up arent really within their control. Then cut ur pays la, if u really have the peoples' hearts in your concerns. Obama only gets 400k annually for being the world's president. If each minister cuts their own pay by 20%, im sure theres enough money to go around and help subsidise the high prices. And if ho ching didnt lose so many hundreds of millions on bad investment.. We would be able to definitely lower prices. Also, they raised the gst to 7% because they wantted to help the poor with the money. Listen to nicole seah's speech and see how pathetically little portion of this gst hike was really used in this purpose? Wong kan seng was the one who let the foreigners in and now, because of nicole seah, he says 'foreigners is really a big issue here'?? Isnt that slapping himself? And when mas selamat escaped.. Why did it take him so long and coincidentally with the GE here to address the problem? The pap that once brought singapore up is no longer the same. Even dr vivian, one of the most respcted minister from pap in my opinions, is a big letdown.. It just seems that the aim of their party is to drive the oppossition out. But what happened to the welfare of the citizens? They're too rich to know how overcrowded singapore is. Ask them to go to clementi on a regular monday to take the bus to SIM la. They have become too capitalistic to truly care for the people anymore. Why are they using our money to buy fancy lorries and big amplifiers? That money could have been converted into food vouchers for the neglected old folks?Well.. Thats just my two cents worth on politics in singapore. Im not saying we should overthrow pap, afterall, as quoted from one of the opposition, '80% of singapore is owned by PAP what'. No matter how, they'll still be ruling sg for the next few decades to come. But if we included more voices, especially if aljunied grc wins, we get a strong opposing voice in parliament to question about the above issues when it is raised. The next time the PAP wants to increase their own pays, at least someone watches for us and question why and what for? Anyway if the opposition wins, its a good thing for singapore's name since we have always been mocked about our one party ruling party system. I really hope people would give the opposition a chance to prove themselves. As PM said, they dont even have a track record. But is because no one ever gave them a chance to prove themselves. So yeah. I really wished i could vote, especially for mr low thia kiang. I remember when i was living in hougang, when my grandfather passed away, he cam by to attend the wake. Thats how an MP should be. Well.. Even the MM refused to shake residents' hands? See how pap has changed? Well yeah. Jiayou to all opposition party members. Was speaking to elyssa, this girl i gotta know in starbucks, she was just passing by my table and she just asked which grc im in. And we started talking for about an hour on politics. V v good. We must rlly prove that gen z isnt an ignorant bunch lor. We all know to not buy kate spade anyway.Im v v glad to write this blogpost, in honour of my grandfather who believed strongly in democracy. And my dad.. Who also wants to see a change. Well, singapore is supposed to be a democratic country of free speech right? So i shall rest my case as i attempt to hit the 'publish' button. Come what may!

Dear (hypothetical) future husband,

I was supposed to be working on my management accounting report, but i am so bored. i remembered reading this post from Ryan's blog and i shall do my own version. Here goes...

Dear my future husband,

if i'm married to you, it means that

a. i love you.
b. you love me.

because i am a person who will not be in a relationship with someone i don't love nor will i be in it with someone i know doesn't love me enough. and if you have proposed and i have accepted, it must have gone both ways and i thank you for loving me.

I am surprised at your marriage proposal because i am one girl who never really saw herself walking down the aisle in that cliched white flowing dress with the beautiful bouquet in her hands. I have been hurt in the name of love and thank you once again, for showing me that i am wrong and for proving to me that love does exists and it isn't just money making opportunity for some skinny bitch and buff-ed up hunk to achieve their riches from. Thank you for even wanting me into your life even if you might have seen how disappointing i can be at times. Thank you for just dismissing all the negative emotions i have felt about love and putting in new beliefs of it. And last but not least, thanks for not letting me die a spinster where my death would have been discovered by my neighbor who hates me but have smelt a terrible stench from my apartment and decided to call the police to try her luck to see if i'm dead.

I hope you have decided to propose because you love me just the way i am. I will always be just a little bit fat (this is a little self denial), my face will always be just a little bit rounder than others, my eyes will always be this small and my nose will always be this fat. This is the prettiest i probably will be and i hope you didn't marry me in hope i will look any better. i'm afraid this might not happen. If you have decided to marry me for my wealth, i'm afraid that i won't be any richer either unless i strike the lottery. This is because i need my cosmetics and beauty products to keep my confidence level at a certain minimum and they do cost a bit. and also, i would need to go out with my friends every now and then and i'm afraid this wouldn't be cheap either. What i earn is probably enough for me to spend and just save a little. and don't worry, i wouldn't require you to pay for all these because i do believe we should still maintain our own lives even though we have intertwined.

You have to know that i have been single almost my entire life and that my life is never possible without my friends. So, sometimes when i do put their needs in front of yours, please do not be jealous. I have a couple of male friends who will always be a little more special but since i've decided to get married to you, you don't have to worry about cheating on you. i will always treat them a little better than i do to other men, but since i have given my life to you, you should know that you mean the most to me.

I have the word "wanderluster" tattooed on my lower back. I still love to travel and i hope you can be the one who runs wild with me and not tame me down. i do want a family too but before i do that, i want to step foot in Switzerland, at least because it is the country i would want to visit the most.

I want a family too. if we should have children, i want 2 or more or none. i don't want to just have a child. i am afraid i would spoil him/her and he/she would become a parasite to the society whom no one wants to have anything to do with. i love children but i am afraid i will become a terrible mother who lacks patience and love. i am afraid that one day, i'd be sick of my children and just let them be. what will become if i do change? i will stop working if i do have children, that i promise you. but that means you will have to work harder for the family because it isn't easy raising a family in Singapore with only one parent working. but i want to know my children. i want to love them. i don't want to be like me and my parents. i do love them, but i don't tell them a lot of things because i don't see the need to. i want to be a mother like Lorelai Gilmore where Rory tells her everything.

Last of all, i really hope your love for me will never waver. i know i am not the prettiest, sweetest, sexiest girl in town and there will always be prettier, hotter girls out there to tempt you. and if we do have children, my looks will probably drop one notch down. i will want to have sex with you every night (even though i don't really know how it feels like.. x: ) i really hope you do not break my heart like the other guys did. let death do us part. i hope we can be loving till our dying day. we will probably have misunderstandings or disagreements, but i will try my best to take a step back and i hope you do too. it doesn't matter if you would be balder, fatter, wrinklier because i know i loved you for who you are. so, please don't ever ever feel insecure. (:

i hope you will come into my life eventually because deep in my heart, i really hope you exist. if you do come, i promise to treasure you always.

Loving you ever so deeply,
Your future wife,
Shirley Lim.