Just disappointed with life as it progresses...

there are reasons i really hate to read the newspapers. They always reflect either bad news or bad news sugarcoated in the form of good news. And we are all sucked into the magical land of facades. And slowly, you'll recognise that underneath these facades are nothing. Pure nothingness. Just like the process of growing up. As a child, you're taught that when your tooth drops, the tooth fairy comes by, clears your headache of what to do with the tooth as she carries her tooth into her nest and gives you a dollar for it, only to grow up and find out that these doesnt exist and when you have any teeth problem, it just means that you have to go to the dentist and pay him a hefty sum to rectify the problem. i know you guys are sick of my rants about politics, especially to those who are pro PAP. but its really making my blood boil seeing all these happen and not being able to do anything. what about those need welfare? we are an aging population. as we grow up, it means the working population would be taxed more heftily to support people from our dad's generation. if the ministers draw such high pays, would we have enough funds for the baby boomers? if there is, what about us? don't we need help to relieve us of our heavy loads? sigh. I live in an above average income household. Frankly, the governement's actions didnt affect me because my family can still cope with the rising prices. In fact, i didnt even need to get so angry because i am not even affected and its really none of my business. But i just cannot sit by and watch the people who have been neglected by the government shout till their lungs explode and yet, are continued to be ignored. Which is why i really wanna shout with them.. At least theres a bigger chance of being heard.eAnyway, am studying hard for exams. in the past, our parents tell us to sstudy hard and you'd have no worries in your future as it'll garantee us a good job etc. but is it true? as i grow up, the definition of being happy widens and it no longer just include a good future. what is a good future if you didnt have anyone to share it with? i need friends, family and prefably, a spouse. but as time goes by, your family diminish as let's face it.. we're mortal beings. we will die one day. time will take our loved ones away.. and as for friends and even spouse, in this day and age, such relationships seem more fragile than glass. especially due to social media where everything is instantaneous and few of these relationships seem to be able to withstand the test of time. also, as a wanderluster, i have thought of combing every nook and cranny of this planet but how to, if the entire world is at odds with each other and it has become increasingly capitalistic and unsafe to be in. Slowly, i fail to see the meaning of adulthood and improved technology. i used to yearn adulthood because i couldnt wait to experience freedom and independence. but at what price? the price of knowing about the cruelty of reality? the cruelty of capitalism? the cruelty of everything? that the world i once was proud of living in and though was beautiful, all destroyed with adulthood. if so, i rather be back 10 years ago when i thought to myself, 'how far it is to reach 21 years old!'. Whats the point of fighting for what is right only to be told that only the rich and powerful can define what right and wrong is? What is the point of having beliefs and values only to be told they're invalid later in life? Whats the point when it seems you're alone in this world when there are so many billions of people.. Whats the point of reading about fairytale stories and told that any prince charming on a white horse coming into your life gives you everything you have ever dreamt of without hurting you when you fall in love yourself only to find that your spouse cheats on you and you battle with yourself whether to confront him and destroy your own marriage with your bare hands or too pretaend nothing happens while you hide in the toilet every night after sex, crying your eyes out? whats the point of trusting in a religion only to be told the money you have donated to build a better place of worship, is used to fund their own personal luxuries?There have been many points in my life where i wished i didnt know what i knew - secrets, news, scandals, rumours... Because as they say, ignorance is bliss. But at the end of the day, this protective shell will vapourise and you'll be overwhelmed by reality. Theres a reason no one lives in universal studios. They are just the biggest facades in the world.. And by facade, it means that there is no function at all. Behind those beautifully painted houses are brick walls. A person in denial would pretend they're real, just like how we once pretended that we were real doctors and nurses when we treated our teddy bears with our toy medical kits. But our hdb flats, poverty, wars, corruptions.. These are reality! a facade is when the government tells its people that no such things exist. A facade is when government dont publish the information the public should know. Really do not wanna grow up. I wont be surprised if one day, i gave up all that i have and shift to a secluded spot in some wilderness area of africa where capitalism/reality doesnt influence anyone. Sigh. I can truly understand why Buddha gave up his royalty to go around the world to understand hardship and later to attain enlightenment.. I need some enlightenment. As karl marx said, religion is the 'opium of the people' where religion was created to deal with the real misery which confronts them. If they were unhappy, they turned to religion which acted as an opiate andd dull their plans. Slowly, i feel marx. I am starting to think that marx was right and durkeim and his idea that we hold the destiny of our lives, is a mere overstatement. Too naive, i feel. Maybe i should learn more about buddhism and return to my happy-go-lucky old self again. Back to reality now. Back to the books. But what for? Sigh.